Friday, May 20, 2011

...

"And I end every sentence with a dot dot dot." --atmosphere


Anyways, This is mostly sad. I feel as though everyone is dying. Too young. I miss so many people, there is so much that is not fair, and even after my first funeral 14 years ago for my Grandpa Hillebrand I still can't handle death. I still need to attend the funeral, I need closure. I miss so many people and each time someone new is gone it all comes back. I'm sad, sure who isn't sad about death. But really, I'm heartbroken, it gets hard to breathe I want to collapse to the ground and ball my eyes out. IT'S NOT FAIR. Literally, no questions asked. I am forever scared everyone is going to die, which is inevitable but I mean instantly in this present moment, while I am already at my weakest. I need some time to heal and I haven't found it yet.

Give me a Break.

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